Choices

Life is full of choices.  We make choices everyday, every minute of the day and they shape our days.  Children, however, don't always make the right choices which is why they are in our care until they are 18 years old, or older.  I shudder to think of what choices my seven year old would make if left alone in the house for even 15 minutes.  Today, while I was in the room, she put a little piece of paper behind the nightlight.  Would it start a fire?  Not sure, but I'd say it's not the best choice.  Which makes me wonder why I incessantly give the girls choice all day regarding different choices I have to make for them throughout the day.  Do you want milk or water?  Chicken nuggets or tuna?  Do you want to wear this?  How about this?  Do you want ketchup?  Do you want to go for a walk?  What color freezie do you want?  When I was a kid I don't remember there being so many choices.  My mom told us what to drink, eat, wear, go - and we did it.  I'm not sure why I give the girls so many choices, it's a habit that I have found hard to break.  Especially since not giving them choices would make things easier for me.  I think.  There could be a time where they want water and I give them milk and we have a full out melt down, but I want to be more definitive in my parenting.  I feel like I should be saying "Let's go to the park!" instead of "Want to go to the park?"  However isn't it also good for them to have choices?  What about you?  Do you give your kids choices or make most of their choices for them?

Apron strings

I was reading an article today about aprons.  The author of the article said she'd rather wear her apron to serve drinks as hostess than to actually wear them to save her clothes and that if she was in the kitchen she's wear gym clothes.  I laughed.  I wondered if she had kids - if she cooked - if she ever had to throw down a towel on a spilled drink, if she'd ever put the kids to bed and then went down into the kitchen to make some appetisers and the go back to hostessing.  These aprons she was referring to in her article are beautiful - but isn't the point of an apron also that it's functional?  If I purchased a $50 apron, I would certainly wear it to bake, make dinners etc. because I'm a mom.  And as a mom I deserve to wear something beautiful while I make dinner.  I'm certainly considering buying one to protect my work clothes as so often I come home and go right to making dinner, cleaning, wiping noses and washing the bathtub.  Their purpose is to protect clothing and June Cleaver had it right, she wore it all the time while she wrangled two boys and the necessities of a household.  My point is - go buy your fancy apron, enjoy it, take pride in wearing it for it's use and don't forget to feel pretty and practical while you wear it!

Sleep

I'd like to think that most mom's have had their challenges with getting their children to sleep.  Being a working mom, I struggle with putting the kids to bed early - so that they get 10-12 hours sleep, and letting them stay up late with me so I can see them for more than 3.5 hours a day.  My kids generally go to bed at 9 pm and I wake them up at 7 am...see?  10 hours sleep.  When they get 10 hours sleep I feel better about sending them off the next day to play and have fun at daycare especially since my 3 year old generally doesn't nap anymore (although most days she could use one).  Unfortunately my 3 year old doesn't understand the concept of 10 hours sleep, she only wants to hang with us.  And I know this is probably because she's 3, and she misses us during the day, and sometimes when you are overtired, it's hard to get to sleep and that being 3 means that you are learning new ways to manipulate people.  You see?  I get it.  But it doesn't change the fact that it's almost 10 pm, and I put her to bed an hour ago, and she's still bee bopping up there after kisses, songs, stories, a cup of milk and snuggles.  I take comfort in the fact that eventually she will crash.  And one night this week she will fall asleep at 6pm and I will eventually...win.  :)

Alone time

Who ever thought that having kids would let you appreciate alone time so much?  Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with my kids but this precious time that I get to myself is so much more valued now than it was 7 years ago.  As soon as the kids go to bed I want to post a status update on Facebook - "Kids in bed - sweet serenity!"  Yes, I do value my quiet time where I'm not playing kids games or reading kids books, giving baths or making food and I think that's perfectly OK.  I get up early every weekend, as soon as my eyes open, to make a coffee, get onto the computer, make breakfast and mentally prepare for the day.  I get up early on weekdays too so I can shower, get my lunch and coffee ready, make pancake breakfasts, so that I'm ready to answer any challenges or requests the morning brings, and it helps to get the morning started off right.  Before I had kids I was craving more to do.  More interaction, more family.  And now that I have it I appreciate it so much and I've found ways of adjusting to having small amounts of alone time during the day.  Having kids has made me appreciate life so much more than I ever imagined.  What do you do with your alone time? 

Random

I love dreams, they can be so insightful, meaningful and random.  When I can remember my dreams, the feeling the dream gave me usually stays with me for the day.  Sometimes it's calming, sometimes it's sad and sometimes it's just weird.  Last night I dreampt that I was in high school.  I was sitting with a guy who I liked and I wanted him to kiss me.  I knew he liked me too but when he leaned into me for a kiss, instead of kissing me he spat in my mouth.  I was mortified and humiliated and did what any high school girl would do - I ran to the washroom.  There were a couple of girls and a teacher in this huge washroom that saw me crying and I ran right into a bathroom stall.  I noticed that the bathroom was in some stage of renovation and the stalls weren't quite complete.  And on the door of the stall was a slot for money which said "Now that you have to pay for your shower, here's a vaccum" (random!).  There was in fact a vaccum of sorts on the floor of this huge stall.  I guess you get to pay and clean up after your shower now.  Just then some boys came into the girls washroom - looking for "mama" as they had a song for me.  I'm pretty sure these boys were gay -at least that's what I was thinking in my dream - because they weren't shunned from the girls bathroom.  And I've always felt that gay men should be welcome in the girls bathroom.  They sang a song that said my boyfriend was sorry and I just cried and told them to leave.  Then a nice girl came up and explained to me that on the East Coast, it was traditional for a boy to have other boys sing a sonnet to a girl he's hurt and this was the ultimate form of apology (neat! romantic!).  So of course I felt better.  I hope you enjoyed my little dream story.  Do you remember your dreams?  Do you look them up in a dictionary to see the meaning? 

Stress

I'm a working mom.  I could leave it at that.   

I was pondering today the amount of stress in my life.  It pales in comparison to when I commuted 2+ hours a day and worked 10 hours a day while having a child but it's still there.  I don't even realize I am until I lose my patience or start snapping at my husband.  If you look at the symptoms of stress, I have most of them and I didn't even realize that until I looked it up today.  I found this chart which gives all of the symptoms:  http://duniapsikologi.dagdigdug.com/files/2009/04/sept3_tgl_03908stres.jpg

Over the years I've developed a few strategies for dealing with stress that work wonders for me.  I take the kids down to the lake, I read a book, I treat myself to something, I clean the house, I bake, I eat something really healthy, I go for a little walk and sometimes I eat chocolate (although eating chocolate is the least effective as it's affects are only short term - approximately the lenght of time it takes me to eat it).  Doing these things don't take away the things that are making me stressed - but they do make me feel better.  Tonight I'm looking forward to reading a book and forgetting that my house is on the market, that I have bills to pay and that I have to get up so early tomorrow.  How do you deal with stress at home or at work?

A story about patience

Generally, I am not a patient person.  I'm a slightly anxious and slightly high strung actually.  I don't like crowds, line ups or loud noises.  But having children and over 7 years attending to their needs I have grown more patience.  They have changed my life for the better in so many ways and I try to be a good mom to them in return.  It didn't come overnight though, I've had to work on my patience.  I've had to leave the room and count to ten on more than one occasion.  When I start feeling overwhelmed I ask my husband to take over to give me a few minutes of perspective.  Sometimes all I need are a few minutes of quiet and I'm back into the thick of it with renewed perspective and patience. 

An overtired two year old. 

Once a week my husband works late and I have the girls to myself for the evening.  We play hide and seek, paint our nails, play ponies and read books.  We did all this tonight in fact.  My youngest (3) was overtired and crying at the drop of the hat.  My oldest was too for that matter.  After redirecting a few fights between them ("You can't hide where I'm hiding!!"  "Madelyn won't let me look at that book!!") and getting endless glasses of milk (3 each to be exact) and giving them individual attention and hugs where needed it was time for bed.  I was doing pretty good!!  Instead of losing my patience I would calmly redirect them or dry tears and give hugs. 

When bedtime is drawing near I give them time to adjust to the idea that playtime will soon be over and our bedtime routine will begin.  I usually have to ask them a few times each but eventually they are herded into the bathroom to brush their teeth, wash face and hands and have a pee before bed.  We all crawled into bed, they fought about which book to read first and I found a compromise book - one of our favorites - I Spy.  They even managed (the poor overtired dears - insert sarcasm here) to fight about who was spying.  After stopping tears of a fight over the book for the fourth time (we didn't even get to finish the book) I had had enough.  I decided I'd better settle them down before I lost my patience.  WELL....then it was a fight about where they slept.  They can't both sleep in my bed because then the youngest keeps the oldest awake or they kick each other and fight over covers...but neither of them was willing to leave my bed.  What was I to do??  The youngest was crying and the oldest was trying to snuggle down and get to sleep.  It's usually my oldest that I ask to compromise but that wasn't happening tonight.  And with my three year old refusing to get into her own bed or get into my bed I lost my patience.  I had my own little tantrum and they both ended up in my bed.  I left the room and waited in the bathroom for the youngest to come out to ask for water but she didn't and I went back in to see them both laying quietly with their eyes closed, no tears and trying to go to sleep.  I kissed them each and told them I loved them and left the room.  They just succumbed to the comfy coziness of mommy's bed and all is right in the world again.  What do you do when you feel your patience slipping?