Sunday, July 25, 2010

Choices

Life is full of choices.  We make choices everyday, every minute of the day and they shape our days.  Children, however, don't always make the right choices which is why they are in our care until they are 18 years old, or older.  I shudder to think of what choices my seven year old would make if left alone in the house for even 15 minutes.  Today, while I was in the room, she put a little piece of paper behind the nightlight.  Would it start a fire?  Not sure, but I'd say it's not the best choice.  Which makes me wonder why I incessantly give the girls choice all day regarding different choices I have to make for them throughout the day.  Do you want milk or water?  Chicken nuggets or tuna?  Do you want to wear this?  How about this?  Do you want ketchup?  Do you want to go for a walk?  What color freezie do you want?  When I was a kid I don't remember there being so many choices.  My mom told us what to drink, eat, wear, go - and we did it.  I'm not sure why I give the girls so many choices, it's a habit that I have found hard to break.  Especially since not giving them choices would make things easier for me.  I think.  There could be a time where they want water and I give them milk and we have a full out melt down, but I want to be more definitive in my parenting.  I feel like I should be saying "Let's go to the park!" instead of "Want to go to the park?"  However isn't it also good for them to have choices?  What about you?  Do you give your kids choices or make most of their choices for them?

2 comments:

  1. This is a difficult question, and somewhat age related. Personally, I also give my kids choices (whenever possible, sometimes I just plain decide and tell them). As you say, making the right choice is not always easy, and I want my kids to learn to choose (right). But also, I'm interested in their opinions and, above all, conversation with my kids seems better than just giving them orders.

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  2. I get them to make simple choices too. I think it's healthy and builds self-esteem. And then instead of arguing, for example, about whether or not it's jammy time, they get to assert themselves by picking out which jammies to wear.

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