Wednesday, February 10, 2010


In the course of everyday, I am immersed in a schedule. This schedule is necessary as it is a list in my mind of what has to happen to get from point A to point B. For example, when I wake up I’m thinking “get out of bed and get in the shower”, when I get out of the shower it’s “dry off, get dressed, get the kids up”, once the kids are up it’s “get the girls some breakfast, make Madelyn’s lunch, get the girls dressed by 8:30.” The lists go on and on throughout my day but mostly when I’m home and am faced with the duties of motherhood and a household. I am the primary caregiver to the girls and our dog and therefore certain things need to take place in a day….dishes, dinner, baths, laundry etc.  I am sometimes so immersed in the schedule in my mind that I can overlook other needs in our household. I have been getting frustrated with orchestrating every step, every part of the schedule that needs to happen for us to get from point A to point B. Yes, I have a husband who can help but I’m often also telling him to “get dressed” “turn off the tv” and “we have 10 minutes before we have to leave.” And yes, some of this is my OCD with having to be places on time and remembering everything that needs to get done in a week. And this is exactly why I married this laid back, goofy, handsome man – because he can make me step back and look at things from another viewpoint. The side of myself that does actually know how to relax……the side that says, “big deal if Madelyn’s hair is messy, we are just going to the grocery store.” So as I was telling myself that exact thing the other day, I stepped back from my schedule and into the moment. I detached myself from analyzing and planning the next hour and just sat down and let myself be. These are the best moments of my day, when I remind myself to be in the moment. And I’ve realized that I need to do this more. That I’ve been living too much inside my own head and there are some things in life that aren’t automatic, such as having a relationship with my husband or kissing a boo boo better. I am making a commitment today to just live in the moment, it is so liberating every time I think about it. Of course there will be moments when I’m in my head, figuring out the schedule but I’m going to try not to let it take over my day or my time with my family.

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