Life, Luck and the Universe

Ever wonder about how you got to your place in the universe?  How did you end up in North America , raising kids, living where you live, with the job that you have?  How did it end up that you fell in love with the person you did?  Most of us are here because our grandparents or their parents emigrated here from other places, such as my great grandparents, who settled as farmers.  My great-grandparents settled at a lake an hour north east of where I currently live.  My grandparents inherited the land but settled in Toronto.  So there are the basic logistics of how I got here.  I should explain, that the reason I’m even thinking about this is because I want to go on a vacation.  Don’t get the connection?  Well.  I was thinking about how some people are so lucky.  They were either born into a place of privilege or just were given opportunities along the way that propelled them into their place in life.  I had to work for every single thing I’ve ever owned.  I started working in fast food places when I was 14 so that I could afford Doc Martin’s and leather jackets.  I worked through college (2 part time jobs and a full course load) so that I could rent an apartment.  (Graduated with honours too tyvm).  I’ve had about 10 different jobs in the last 10 years.  Some of them similar, some very different to what I went to school for.  It’s been an interesting ride and I’ve worked very hard over the years.  But I’ve never had a tropical vacation.  When I was 24 I went to work at a full-time career and bought a house.  All of my savings were used for the house and then for my wedding.  And now, my car is paid, my daycare costs are declining and I still agonize over paying for a vacation.  And yet some people, also through hard work, and some just by luck or privilege have had many, many tropical vacations.  Or traveled abroad a time or two.  And then there is the exact opposite of the spectrum, those less lucky than us, who worked hard but were not lucky enough to buy a house or who were plagued with health problems.  I guess I fall right into the middle.  Neither lucky nor privileged (financially but very blessed family wise) and not doing too badly either.  I just want to take my kids someplace warm, for a week, and do nothing but play and sleep and eat.  That's all.  It would be great if it could happen without me having to save money for it...lol.  I think I'll try something that has worked in the past for me, visualization.  Because feeling sorry for myself isn't working for me.  I’m going to tape pictures of sandy beaches, blue skies and tropical drinks to my fridge to motivate myself to get to that vacation.  And maybe, just maybe, I’ll win the lottery, or a promotion will fall into my lap or the stars will align and I’ll get that vacation just by sending it out there into the universe. And I'll take that negative energy I'm sending out by wishing I had more money or status and turn it into something positive. 

If you need me, I'll be in the kitchen.

One sure thing about becomming a mom, you will spend more time in the kitchen.  This weekend I was off 3 days and a lot of that time was spent in the kitchen.  It was mostly because I didn't have any other plans for the weekend (bliss!) and my husband did all of the running around, picking up kids, dropping off kids etc.  So I got up at 7:45 am twice this weekend -(without the kids waking me?!) and headed to the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast, cleaned up after breakfast and it started from there.  I got the girls 30 glasses of milk or water or juice, plus snacks, lunch and dinner.  I grated, I crock potted, I fried, boiled and baked.  And it occured to me today that my kids don't even like my cooking much but there I am anyway toiling away.  I spend so much time in the kitchen, preparing lunches, throwing stuff out, rinsing and sorting recycling that my kids will actually come to me while I'm sitting in the living room - while their dad is in the kitchen - and ask ME to get them stuff.  I don't mind the kitchen that much though, it's cozy and warm and to keep up with eating healthy I try to make a lot of things from scratch.  And the kids?  They love to help with mixing or slicing mushrooms.  Now if I could just get them to eat the good stuff I make, I would be thrilled.  Where do you spend a lot of your time?

Throwing stuff away

This month I've thrown away:
A blender
A heater
A cool air mist humidifier
A small food processor

There were all broken and couldn't be fixed.  It seems like such a waste to throw away these large items.  I wonder if I had purchased a higher quality item, would they have lasted longer?  Likely.  Oh the things you learn about consumerism as you get older.  The blender I had for 10 years and the small food processor at least 7 because I used it to make baby food.  They were all old items and I finally had to let go.  Funny how they all seemed to give up their life around the same time but they don't owe us anything, they all lasted a good length of time.  I also had to re-purpose some old towels into rags and donated a large bag of clothes this month.  It seems like the more I look and reconsider, the more items I realize I can do without.  I still have a long way to go as our garage walls are full of items I don't use but it's a work in progress.  With every month I get rid of a little more and try not to purchase too much to replace them.  I was given a new food processor for Christmas and will likely buy a new humidifier and the cycle will begin again.  Good bye crap!

Update

I'm still at it!  Going to the gym 3 times a week and still enjoying it.  I'm still finding it hard to stay away from the french fries and candies but this change isn't about totally changing my eating habits - it's about getting active.  I'm happier and feeling stronger and more toned.  I haven't "weighed in" yet, I'm going to wait until a month goes by to do that - but I am more conscience about what I'm putting into my body.  I don't want to ruin what I've started or want to feel that I've just lost a workout by eating badly.  Eating well was never really been my issue, it's the inactivity.  So on Sunday nights I make some roasted vegtables and eat them for lunches instead of a sandwich or a burger and I think that's a good enough change.  I bring veggies and fruit for snacks and I'm staying away from the potato chips.  I'm sleeping better too.  All in all it's been a great start and I am looking forward to keeping it up and seeing and feeling the changes I'm making for the better. 

Me

Firstly...I have been trying to post pics but they are posting sideways so I had a pic to share but decided not too because of this. Any tips?

OK so I did my first workout last night and it felt great.  I also was weighed and measured and my body fat index was taken.  Big sigh.  Here goes...
Weight - over 200 pounds.  Suffice to say that I'm heavier than I've ever been, even heavier than I was at the peak of both my pregnancies. 
Height - 5'9"
Measurements:  bust 46 inches, waist 40 inches, hips 46 inches.

So there we are.  Yep, I'm overweight.  And I won't even mention my body fax index...gah!

Onward and upward....or in this case downward :)

The journey begins

My weigh loss journey that is.  I have a goal and that is to be fit by fourty.  I have never been this heavy except for when I was 8 month pregnant.  I want to be in the same shape I was 50 pounds ago, three years ago, 1 year after having my second child.  I was doing yoga and pilates at least 3 times a week and walking 20 minutes a day.  After going back to a sedintary job and also trying to manage the lives of two little ones and their schedules, I've have had little time for myself.  The time I do have I spend on the couch or cleaning my house.  We do get out and enjoy activities together but it's not enough for my 30 something metabolism.  So tomorrow begins my journey as I've joined a program that gets me to the gym three times a week.  It feels really good.  And you know that book I'm reading?  It has been a great motivator for me.  And it advised to make your goals public so that you stick to them and so that you are accountable for them.  So here I am world wide web, make me accountable!  In 6 months I hope to drop at least 20 pounds and by next January be close to my goal.  Go me!  I'll post a "before" pic tomorrow as I'll be weighed, measured and ready to share more of the details.

Just a little update

Hello – I’m back, crazier than ever lol


Happy Holidays! I realize it’s been a while since I posted – we had three birthdays in November to celebrate and then the Christmas madness began. It’s Dec 20 and I finally feel inspired to write. I also have a few posts that I wrote throughout the month that I will be posting this week as well.

I just started reading this great book called The Power of Less and I’m excited about it. I’m inspired – which usually means that this book will probably inspire change in me. I really need to work on my Fit by Forty goal. My goal to streamline my possessions – imagine choosing only 200 items in your house to keep – what would you keep? And most importantly – I want to save money so that I can go back to school. More on these another time - and if you want to check out the author’s website its ZenHabits.net

And what are your thoughts on this: You see, over the summer a nice lady watched my girls, my three and seven year old girls. She has three kids herself and I realized this summer – has a very laid back way of supervising them. I’ve known her for three years, she is very active in the school my oldest attended and as I said before she is very nice. She mentioned to me before that she doesn’t “hover” over her kids when they play. She likes them to have their own experiences. And it got me thinking about how I hover around my kids while they play. I listen nearby, I find things to do in the room next to where they are playing, I watch cartoons with them, I don’t let them out of my sight when they are playing outside, these types of things. I mean, that’s what mom’s do right? But it got me wondering if we can over-supervise our kids. When I was a kid – probably from the age of 6 or 7, I was allowed to go outside and play on my own, unsupervised. Granted, we lived in a rural area where there was little or no traffic and lots of fields and tree’s. I would go out for hours and tromp through fields, abandoned barns, apple orchards and around the lake. Having that freedom was so amazing. I think I learned to be very independent and self-reliant by being unsupervised. I learned some life lessons – like never to tromp through ponds without rain boots if you wanted to stay comfortable, to never use the front brakes on my bike to slow down quickly and that once your toes were cold it was time to go home. Thankfully I was never mauled by a bear (something I would worry about now but never thought about back then), run over by a car travelling down our dirt road or hurt myself climbing fences and trees. But these days, especially in the city, you can just never be too careful. I remember picking my kids up at school one day. It was freezing cold and the kids were happily playing on the ice that had formed in the school yard. The lady that usually picked up the girls was chatting happily with her other mom friends while the kids slipped and slid on the ice – unsupervised. I hung back from the mom’s because I wanted to make sure the kids weren’t abducted by some passing stranger or hurt while sliding on the ice. I found it appalling that this nice lady who was to be supervising my kids wasn’t even looking at them! In fact, her view of them and her own children was obstructed by a line of trees. Gah! And herein is what I’m referring too. These questions run through my head. Am I being too paranoid? Am I not giving my children enough space? Will they come to expect someone to be there for them all the time and never learn to act or think independently? I’ve been there for them everyday of their lives, and I will continue to be there if they need me, but do I need to constantly supervise them even when they are in the house? Do I need to get my own life back so I can stop obsession about them (ahem, yes)? I’d love to live in a rural area again so I can let my girls have their own experiences and be back at “home base” in case they need me. I don’t think I’ll ever be the type of mom who can leave my kids unsupervised in a school yard. I feel more content watching them than not watching them. But I will pause and reflect on how much simpler my life would be if I just let it go and didn’t worry so much.